Sunday, November 1, 2009

GolMal hain bhai Sab gOLmAL hain

During my onsite trips in early stages of my career, I used to write long emails back home to my college friends giving them "update".Those emails were not my usual tour diary, covering common stuffs,but I used to focus on any weird, foolishly funny and mostly unique incident that occurred on that trip surrounding me. So, when few days back, one of my college friend told me that I am blogging good and that he first noticed the "writer" inside me after going through those long emails, I thought why not revisit those emails from Hall of Fame (read from the old mail archive of yahoo group mail ) and share with a larger audience here.So, without wasting further time on introduction, here are those real funny stories, bole to ekdum 'dil se'

Words of caution: This post contains mild non-veg, I could not edit them as they are being integral part of the story itself. Viewer discretion is advised :-)

Story #1:

While going to US, I had a stop over in Frankfurt for around 2 hours and it being my first trip, I got lost while searching my connecting flight.I was late and did not have time to freshen up in the morning,thought will do it once I board my connecting flight. As soon as I boarded the flight to Chicago, I headed for the restroom with my toothbrush and toothpaste. But after I started brushing my teeth, I found something unusual, weird, indescribable taste, not the usual foam, too. I came back to my seat with a disgusting feeling inside my mouth that I never tasted before. But when I was about to keep the brush and paste into my shaving kit, I realized the toothpaste was already there!! What did I use then? I looked at my hand and I was holding, along with the tooth brush, a tube of HIMALAYA AYURVEDIC CONCEPT......ANTICEPTIC CREAM!!!

Story #2:

Once me and my friend were travelling & I was driving the car. As I needed to change my lane, I started blinking th indicator, but there were cars coming at a faster speed on the adjacent lane, so I had to wait. I let the first car pass by, then the second and then the third. By this time, I was impatient and I thought it's now or never. I sharply changed my lane in front of the incoming car from behind and almost instantly, all those colorful lights started flashing on my back. I was very confident that i was within the legitimate speed limit. Not knowing what my fault was but following the rules, I stopped at the sideways and the flashing light followed me, I was sure it was "him" and it was me he was after.

I came out of the car barefooted, with my shorts on and started walking towards the cop .By the way, I did not know that in such situations, I am supposed to sit in my car and wait for the cops to come. Any approach made by me could be seen as revolt and the cops are allowed to shoot me. Anyway, knowledge posessed at the right time matters and not afterwards. I heard the guy shouting at me but did not realize his words. I gradually reached towards him and after a long discussion with him, I finally realized what I did. The cop was chasing those three cars which I let pass by in the beginning as they were over speeding and I actually blocked him from following them. Poor me, but I was still fortunate that I was not fined and more importantly, I was not shot.

Story #3:

After exploring all the nice scenic beauty around the Miami beach, we felt it was time to take a step forward. Yes, you are right, we wanted to explore the nude beach!!! We did not know the direction, nor did we get any help from Yahoo Maps. Only information, we had was one of our senior visited there few days back with my same old friend (I mentioned before) and now that friend is to lead the way for us from the front. But unfortunately , he only remembers some turn at some places not the exit number not the name of the place. He told us "You take me there then I can recognize but I can't tell how to go there"!!Can you imagine a better navigator??

So, we set out for this audacious adventure and after roaming around for an hour or so around Miami, finally we reached the parking lot of a beach. My friend told us the name of the beach sounds familiar to him, but as opposed to what he promised before, he can't recognize the place!! Anyway, we entered the parking place hoping to get some information from the security guard there and to make things worse for us, there was a lady at the ticket counter. How could we ask a lady whether that is the nude beach!!! Everyone was hesitant but at the same time not ready to back off after coming so far. So, I (Why me? I don't know. Either I was the foolest of the lot so they could have convinced me or somewhere I had read before leaders step up in situations when no one else does !!) finally gathered some courage and approached the lady

"Mamm..(mumbling already) is it the XYZ (I don't remember the exact name now) beach?" Even though we had read the name at the entrance but we had no other idea of starting the discussion..
Lady: "Yes, it is the nude beach you are looking for. $20 per hour"!!! We were still as if struck by a lightning, we did not expect to be exposed and that too in front of a lady that we were looking for a nude beach. We might be just interested to visit the beach in general and not interested in that "special" fenced area!! GOD knows what made her think like that, but I hope it was not evident on our facial expression.Still feel shame about that incident :(

Story #4:

This is the second part of the story related to the same beach, happened after a year during another trip, it was time to guide our juniors. This time, we did not have any difficulty reaching there, enjoyed a lot and came back to our apartment. Everyone got involved chit-chatting of what they have seen, they have done there etc. Suddenly I saw one of our junior very depressed, not taking part in the discussion and sitting aloof.

"Kyu re kya huan?..tu itna udas kyu hain" (what happened? why looking depressed? ) I asked...
"Nehi actually not feeling good, mujhe wahape(he was referring to the beach) nehi jana chahiye tha" (I shd not have gone to that beach)..he replied.
"are thik hain" I said, "parents ko thodi pata chalega, aur tera abhi GF bhi nehi why r u worrying"? (anyway parents will not know this and you do not have a GF yet to answer, so chill)
He replied instantly "yeh thik nehi huan, kuch cheese ey shadi ke bad hi dekhna chaiye"!!!(This was not right, certain things should only be seen after marriage!!) I have never heard a better one liner than this in my entire life.


  1. Looks you guys had a great time :)

    "We were still as if struck by a lightning, we did not expect to be exposed and that too in front of a lady that we were looking for a nude beach."

    Is it something wrong going to a nude beach? Why the guilt?

    "kuch cheese ey shadi ke bad hi dekhna chaiye"


  2. Cant stop laughing at this post, kuch cheezein shaadi ke baad hi dekhna chahiye..was he serious??? what generation??


    Your friend is right ...your writing skills were good from those days...but I guess they were also developed because of that...always wished I could write like that.


  4. Lol..Some guy, that junior of yours! :D
    enjyed the post :)

  5. Nice memories!

    You are such a this shyness is so difficult to find today even in girls:)

  6. the 1st one was hillarious:-) I wonder how did you make that mistake. antiseptic cream instead of tooth paste.enjoyed reading them:-)

  7. Something to laugh about indeed. Enjoyed reading excerpts of those long mails that have inspired you to write more. Keep writing and spread the mirth around!

  8. Holy COW!

    Hilarious. Liked the last one... typical indian bandha that. kya karoon... hum sab paapi hain. ;)

  9. lol, thanks for the funny stories Mustaf!It sure gave each one of your readers a good laugh!

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  11. Rahman Bhai !! Who waz that Mr.Saint Junior. Definitely it z not me.

  12. Enjoyed throughly, nice collections Mustaf.


  13. Funny post. I wonder if your wife knows about your adventure in Miami.
    Your almost saint buddy stole my heart, though I do feel he belongs to the Victorian age.

  14. Lol..last one on beach was really funny!! Aise bhi bande aaj kal ke waqt main hai...hahaha!!

  15. Story3 was hilarious!

    And "kuch cheese ey shadi ke bad hi dekhna chaiye" is well, WOW.

    That junior of yours seems to have a clear head

  16. hilarious stories !

    Waiting for more such stories :P

  17. Very funny post esp. the 2nd. story!

  18. ROFL....hehehe..esp the first incident was hilarious..the funny thing is it happens to me often too.hehe

  19. Long post haan....!

    1st and second are Hilarious!!

    After watching hollywood movies, i realised it that we are suppose to sit in the car itself when cops arrive...

    ayurvedic antiseptic cream?? OMG...what did u do? in my case by mistake i did brush with odomos man..that was waaakkk...chi chi..

    nude beach haan?

    Good to share such incidents.. :)


  20. Well, I can relate to what all you mentioned.
    My first travel experiences was so eventful that I wouldn't forget.

    The cops, the nude beaches and all were simply awesome :-)

  21. At least nude beach ka pata to bata de yaara.

  22. ROTFL at all ur stories.. seriously!!

  23. Interesting anecdotes. On the story # 2, you are very lucky. I have been living in USA almost all my life. When cop stops you, you stay put in the car with your hands on the steering wheel. Or else, your life will be gone.

  24. funny one...the one liner was superb!ha ha..

  25. Did that junior of yours get married yet? Most probably he might have confessed the first night. ROTFL.:D:D Hope he didn't compare though;)

  26. @Prashant,

    Yes our on site trips used to be full of dhamals :D

    Nothing wrong in going to a nude beach, but you know certain things you refrain from discussing in fron of women in general i.e we don't use slangs, don't discuss "those" is just like that, can't explain properly :(


    Yes, he was serious, his facial expression suggested he was quite disturbed. Some people have certain values just like that like I had that my wife would be my first love, i could keep that to some extent but not completely :P


    Thanks. yes, i agree it improved little bit :)

  27. @Destiny's child,

    Thank you :)


    Thanks. Well..don't know abt girls, but i was just around 24 then and it was such an embarassing situation for me :(

    @Butterfly Thoughts,

    First on site trip, already late, fear of missing the flight and then being stranded in an alien land, it was a pressure situation, from every aspect :D

  28. @RGB,

    Thank you :)


    Is the last one typical indian banda? Most of us are not like that, i think he was an exception :)

    @A New Beginning,

    Even I also laugh every time I remember them :)

  29. Hey Brother,

    This was fun reading lol. :).
    And that junior of yours, saint huh.. :P and did he readt this post! :)
    And so whats happening??

  30. hehe, story #4 takes the cake. And no, it is not a typical indian male...a typical indian male would have said "let's go to the beach again tomorrow" :)

  31. Nice Blog.. Pl do visit my blog..

  32. Thanks for sharing such a wonderful article with us.


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